When you’re suffering through a painful breakup, it’s hard to imagine that you’ll ever find another partner — much less, want one! There’s a cliche that it takes one week to get over each month of a relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past?
I have been studying psychology for 11 years and the hundreds of articles giving inferior and nonsense advice about breakups motivated me to write an article that can really help people get over their breakups faster.
If you want to get over someone quickly then please forget about the inferior advice you read such as keep yourself busy, be strong or travel and instead focus on the 10 advice listed below which are, in my opinion, the 10 best ways for getting over a breakup in a short period of time:
1. Hope = no recovery from breakups
The main reason people accept the death of loved ones and fail to accept breakups for years is the presence of hope. Your mind will never trigger the recovery process before it makes sure that there is no hope of returning back. To recover faster from breakups kill hope completely by calling the person you broke up with and making sure that this was the end
2. The most dangerous phase
People who live on hope of returning back go a step further by always day dreaming about the person they broke up with, by waiting for him to call and wishing that they meet him in the streets by coincidence. In my article The stage of recovery is called bargaining and that the main reason most people never recover fast from breakups is that they remain in the bargaining stage for months and sometimes years.
3. Fix your beliefs to get over a breakup quickly
The movies you watched, the songs you listened to and the culture you got exposed to made you believe in terms such as “The one” or “The Soul mate” while in fact according to the psychology of love there are hundreds of potential partners out there that you could fall in love with and the reason you aren’t meeting any of them is because of the limiting beliefs you acquired from the media. The best and fastest way to get over a breakup is to fix your limiting beliefs by learning more about the psychology of love
4. Don’t keep yourself busy
keeping yourself busy is one of the worst things you can do after a breakup. If you were Hungry, will keeping yourself busy help you forget about food one day? of course this won’t happen, this action will just lead to increased hunger later on. You can’t solve a problem, especially if it was a breakup, by acting as if its not there. The right way to get over a breakup quickly is to face the problem and to convince your mind that its over
5. Avoid forming new limiting beliefs
As soon as most people breakup they start listening to sad songs, watching sad movies and even searching the internet for sad breakup quotes. These stuff can do you nothing but reinforce limiting beliefs such as “He was the one” ,”I cant live without him” and the other bla bla that can prevent you from getting over someone fast
6. Restore your social life
Many people isolate themselves from their friends as soon as they get into a relationship. They make their relationship partner the center of their world and that’s why they feel that they lost the whole world when they breakup with him. As soon as you breakup restore the connections back with your friends and relatives so that you find it easier to get over the breakup fast.
7. Its OK to cry
Suppressed emotions can turn into depression or can result in many other bad moods. Express your emotions whenever you feel like it without thinking that there is any hope.
8. Avoid the person you broke up with for a while
don’t visit his Facebook profile, don’t try to message him and don’t do anything that can make your mind believe that there is hope. The fastest way to get over a breakup is to kill hope completely
9. Burn the pictures & eat the chocolates
that right after breakups many people keep looking at the pictures they had together and this convinces the mind that there is some hope in getting back together and that’s why those people never recover quickly. Burn the pictures, eat the chocolates and give away the gifts. When you do so your subconscious mind will strongly believe that recovery is the only way left and it will help you recover faster
10. Get rid of relationship dependency
Many people get into relationships to forget about the pain and the problems in their lives. If you managed to become less dependent on the relationship you will certainly get over breakups faster. Learn how to face life problems instead of escaping to a relationship and your life will be much better
The right way to get over a breakup fast
Try to escape from such a problem by keeping yourself busy, by sleeping for most of the day or by even using drugs and you will only discover that the breakup problem is getting worse.
Kill hope, convince your mind that its over and get rid of your limiting beliefs and you will discover that you are getting over the breakup faster than expected.
I know that one article might not be enough to help you get over the breakup completely and that’s why there are links below to many other articles that can help you get over someone fast.
5 Ways to rebuild your life after a bad breakup
Trying to overcome a recent breakup? You have to start by instilling healthy habits in your life. Here are five coping strategies to help you along the way.
1. Find a new replacement “significant other”
Now this is not what you think! What I mean by this is pick a hobby that brings you joy and satisfaction and make that your “new relationship.”
Years ago after a bad breakup, I decided that the gym would be my new boyfriend. I had never made time for myself in the relationship and by deciding to now do so, it changed my life. I began feeling better about myself. I made a vow to not let my relationship with the gym become too clingy. I would only go for 30 minutes five days per week. And the other days I would do something else enjoyable like take 30 minutes to sit and read at a coffee shop. Now, my reason for this was not to replace that old relationship with a new relationship, but to instill healthy habits into my life, which is where number two comes in.
2. Break up with anything toxic in your life
When I made this vow to take on a healthier lifestyle, I began to eliminate anything that I found toxic in my life. And this included other unhealthy relationships. I became more aware of the people around me and evaluated whether they brought peace or chaos into my life. I realized that I had a few who created chaos and this is when I parted with them.
3. Start rebuilding
Take time to figure out what you love in life and what makes you happy. Oftentimes while in a relationship you lose sight of the things that make you happy. My advice would be to start at rock bottom. Once toxic things are eliminated, you may not have much left, and this is OK! This is where you can begin feeling comfortable with who you are again. You may have some quiet nights in by yourself. Learn to be comfortable with this. Learn to embrace this and do the things you really love.
I can remember feeling really uncomfortable in the beginning, being alone in my apartment on a Saturday night. But eventually I enjoyed and grew an appreciation for those nights alone being able to explore what I really wanted in life. Now, this is when I began to truly grow into who I am today.
4. Be ready for big changes in you
Once you are on the pathway to rebuilding, you will begin to notice how much more simple your life has become… less drama, less clutter of people/things that really don’t matter and a more fulfilled you.
This was when I discovered my passions, applied to graduate schools and got accepted. If I still had clutter in my life, I wouldn’t have had the space to figure out what I wanted my future to look like.
5. Acceptance
This is the last step in truly moving on from a relationship and beginning this journey to a healthier you. One day you will wake up and realize how different your life is. You may begin to feel reminiscent of the way things used to be. Whatever you do, please remind yourself that this is normal and a part of the “grieving your old life” process. Once you feel this happening, redirect your mind back to how good you feel in the present moment and how crappy you felt when things were different.
It can be so easy to become nostalgic for even the bad things of the past. Why? Because they were a part of you for so long it became ingrained. Happiness and serenity feel uncomfortable because you aren’t used to them. Learn to accept them. Tell yourself, “I must accept the good in my life and not become a slave to my past unhealthy life.”
Bonus tip… just stay present.
Think about how good life feels at the moment and stick with that thought. If you can follow these five simple strategies, you will be on the road to a new and improved you in no time!
Sources: 2knowmyself , sheknows