If you like to Dress Up like a pro, wanting to dress up when others don’t happen to you all the time. Here are some helpful tips on how to deal with people who question you about the way you dress.
How to Dress Up Properly?
Parties are often preceded by fun questions, like what to give? Who to bring (if you have a plus one, that is)? When to arrive? And, crucially, what to wear? Most of us don’t just happen to have a floor-length silk gown or a tailcoat hanging around in our closet, waiting for the day our Met Gala invite finally arrives. But would that even be the right kind of thing to wear to such an event? We’ve got answers, and options, for every possible occasion on your social calendar.
Why Do We Dress Up?
Social obligations are not prerequisites for feeling great about your appearance. You can dress up simply because looking good makes you happy. But more often than not, the situations where we put a lot of care into our outfits are big events with explicit dress codes. The best-case scenario is that we’re dressing for both reasons: because it boosts our self-esteem and because we want to look situationally appropriate.
Still, knowing what is appropriate can be a head-scratcher. The dress code might be implied, and even when it’s made explicit, the jargon can be difficult to decode. Which is why we spelled it out for you here.
If the invitation says…
Casual: You do not need to dress up. Sneakers, jeans and T-shirts are all acceptable, and even encouraged.
Dressy casual: You should dress up, but only a little. It’s often just a matter of wearing nicer shoes, a snazzier top or pants that aren’t blue jeans (though denim is fine with the right kind of shirt — more on that later).
Business attire: You should dress as someone might for a client-facing job. Of course, there is plenty of variation within this category. It might mean a suit, a knee-length skirt, or a blazer and khaki bottoms. But it definitely means no jeans and no sneakers.
Cocktail: You should dress much nicer than you do every day. Try separates in satin, silk or velvet. Suits. When in doubt, wear black.
Black tie: You should wear a very elegant dress – say, a long gown or a cocktail dress that’s on the fancier side – or a tuxedo.
White tie: You should look very fancy. Tailcoats, floor-length gowns and, potentially, white gloves are all on the table.
Now let’s get specific.
Casual
Dos
Jeans and a T-shirt: When the most casual of outfits is perfectly acceptable, you might as well go with it.
Khakis, modest shorts, day dresses and skirts
Anything cotton or linen: In the summertime especially, it’s more pleasant to wear breathable fabrics, and these can easily be dressed up or down.
Basically, you want to dress like any of the characters on your favorite sitcom routinely do: in comfortable clothing that is neither ostentatious nor schlubby.
Don’ts
Graphic T’s: Plain T-shirts are great, but ones with inflammatory words or images might be better left at home. The Emily Post Institute, whose mission is to educate people about etiquette, advises against shirts that bear slogans altogether.
Anything clearly ripped or stained: It’s a matter of self-respect more than anything, but it also shows respect for your host and fellow guests when you dress in clean clothes. Intentional distressing on denim is fine.
Uncomfortable clothing: This is always a don’t, but there’s no reason to dress outside your comfort zone when the dress code is casual. The idea is to come as you are.
Where Casual is Appropriate
Friendly gatherings: BBQs, housewarming parties
Informal dinner outings
Traveling
Dressy Casual
Dos
Dress: A shirt dress or a sweater dress can appear refined and relaxed at once.
Blouse or button-down shirt: You can’t go wrong with a crisp, classic top. Add a blazer to dress the look up a notch or two.
Dark denim: Unfaded indigo or black jeans can make an outfit feel instantly more evening-appropriate.
“Going-out top”: These shirts – often constructed from synthetic materials and sometimes bought cheaply from fast-fashion stores – are meant to make a casual look a little more club-ready. Ultimately, a going-out top is anything that makes you feel good.
Jumpsuit: It’s a stylish one-piece alternative to the dress that can be scaled for elegance. Boiler suits in particular are very trendy this year.
Don’ts
Sneakers: unless they are very clean and not the type you would wear to the gym
Shorts: just don’t.
Where Dressy Casual is Appropriate
A first date
Most nights out with friends (unless the dress code is explicit).
Business
Dos
If business casual: khakis or dark dress pants; a button-down shirt; sport coat or blazer; tie optional.
If business formal: dark suit, dress shirt and dress shoes; silk tie; sheath dress; pencil skirt. Think Kerry Washington on “Scandal,” or any of the esteemed actors on USA Network’s “Suits.”
Don’ts
Sneakers, not even nice ones: They will make you stand out in a bad way.
Jeans: Business attire is not the same as tech company work attire.
Clothing that distracts. Our fashion critic Vanessa Friedman says that “clothes should not be the focus of attention,” which means “they should not be what colleagues or friends remember after a meeting.”
Anything that makes you wonder, “Is this a bad idea?” If you’re thinking it before you leave the house, your thoughts will only get louder throughout the day.
When Business Attire is Appropriate
Most workplaces and related events
Networking mixers
Job interviews
Conferences
Cocktail/Semi Formal
Dos
Dress: You’ll want to wear a dress that is made of a refined fabric (like silk, lace or taffeta) and cuts around the knee. It should be much more formal than a sundress, but less formal than a ballgown. Most department stores and online retailers have ps devoted to party dresses, and any of those should do.
Suit: Most people wear dark suits to occasions with this dress code, but if the event is a daytime party, a light suit (beige, gray) is totally fine.
Dressy separates: If you wear a very snazzy top (think sequins or silk), you can probably get away with dress pants (say, velvet) or a skirt on the bottom.
Jumpsuit: Everyone wears dresses. Why not do wear something that makes a statement?
Dress shoes, pumps
When in doubt, wear black.
Don’ts
Anything too short or tight (unless you love being physically uncomfortable for hours at an event).
Jeans: This is definitely not the time or place for America’s favorite pant.
Plain cotton anything.
When Cocktail/Semi Formal is Appropriate
Some weddings
Evening fundraisers
Proms and other formal school events
Black Tie
Dos
Dress: Long gown or a very elegant cocktail dress: This can be elevated with jewelry and other accessories.
Tuxedo
Pumps or strappy sandals
Black wingtips or oxfords
Remember how the characters on “Gossip Girl” dressed for special occasions? That’s the bar here.
Don’ts
It’s not a strict rule, but most people advise against bright colors for practical reasons: They’re harder to rewear and more difficult to clean.
Scuffed shoes: Even if they are dress shoes, you want them to be in tip-top condition.
When Black Tie is Appropriate
Fancy weddings
Galas
White Tie
Dos
Floor-length gown
Tailcoat jacket
Jewels
Long white gloves: optional, and sort of extra, but isn’t that the point?
Looking like royalty is the ideal outcome.
Don’ts
An above-the-knee dress
Suit: Your business attire is dapper, but it’s not welcome here!
When White Tie is Appropriate
A very, very fancy wedding, if explicitly stated on the invitation
The Met Gala, or any fund-raiser of its caliber
Tips and Advice
How to Save Money
Dressing up, even once in a while, can easily become expensive. Anyone who is familiar with the marathon of weddings that begins in one’s 20s and never really ends knows that dressing up can feel like an expensive chore. You can’t really help it that you’re popular or that your friends are in love, but preparing for these celebrations and gatherings doesn’t have to break the bank.
Shop smart: Knowing where to buy occasion wear is half the battle, and not everyone’s recommendations will fit your idea of what’s affordable. The easiest and least expensive option is to browse what online retailers like Lulus and Asos have to offer. There are also fairly affordable sustainable brands like Reformation whose garments may incur a smaller carbon footprint. Second-hand and consignment stores can also have gems from high-quality labels. If you can’t find any such stores locally, the RealReal and thredUP resell clothes from luxury and midpriced brands.
Rent, don’t buy: Truly no one needs to own a ballgown. Companies like Rent the Runway (now offering an Unlimited subscription service) and Armarium let you pick from a trove of designer offerings, then return the wares after your special occasion is history.
Rewear your look: It can be costly to buy a new outfit for every occasion on your social calendar. If you purchase pieces that are basic enough (the simple black cocktail dress, for example) you can wear them over and over again. Tiffany Haddish has done it on the red carpet, and we all stand to learn from her eco- and budget-friendly example.
Ask a friend: Maybe you know someone who has a dress or a suit you can borrow. Think of it as a rental, but free! But make sure to offer to pay for their dry cleaning so that the loan is no imposition.
How to Make it Look Good
Speaking of which, clothing – especially dressy clothing – should not simply be worn. It often requires alterations or D.I.Y. hacks to look as good as possible. And, crucially, garments should be cared for, especially when they are costly or beloved. Here are some things to consider:
Alterations: If you’ve purchased a piece that doesn’t fit quite like a glove, or you have a well-worn outfit that’s due for some fixes, you might want to visit a tailor or a dry cleaner who performs alterations ahead of your event. Before you just walk into the nearest shop, it’s worth asking friends for recommendations: Once the fabric is cut, it can’t really be restored. Wherever you go, make sure you drop off the garment at least three weeks before you’ll need to wear it.
Shapewear: Let’s start by saying that everyone’s body is wonderful and nothing must be done to make it look good in a dress. But, if you would like your clothes to lay smooth and flat on your person, there are plenty of things you can buy. The folks at Spanx and Commando produce seamless undergarments that are virtually undetectable underneath even the slinkiest dresses.
Tape: If after the alterations and shapewear, something about your outfit still feels precarious, there’s always good old tape. Kim Kardashian proudly uses it to secure her dresses and decolletage, and she says gaffer tape works best. There’s also fashion tape and toupee tape, which are really just two types of double-sided tape with fancy names.
Ironing and steaming: Creases can put a wrinkle in anyone’s plans to look great, so before you go out, consider ironing or steaming your outfit and putting it on a hanger so that it retains its polished appearance. Our friends at Wirecutter recommend Maytag’s M400 iron for those who are in the market. Handheld steamers are a great investment, too, as they travel well and work like a charm.
Cleaning and other garment care: It’s worth noting that your wares will get dirty. Our friend Alainna Lexie Beddie at T Magazine has solutions for all of the stains and scuffs your clothes and shoes are likely to incur given your busy social schedule.
How to Upgrade Any Look
Sometimes a dress code can feel rote – more like a uniform than an expression of personal style. This is especially true if you’ve built up a wardrobe of rewearable pieces and they’ve each made appearances at several occasions. Here are a few ways to make sure your outfit comes together and feels fresh:
Accessories: By this point, you’ve picked the perfect outfit. You will look great no matter what. But if you have the time and means, consider the distinguishing details. Have you thought about jewelry? What tie you’ll wear? How you’ll carry your necessities? Whether you’ll need a coat, and which one to wear? These questions are best addressed at least a week prior to the event, so you have time to shop or borrow from a friend if needed. Or maybe the answer is in your closet. If you always sport a silk tie, for example, you could try that knit one you got as a gift but haven’t worn yet.
Hair: Maybe you show up to work with wet hair every day. That’s O.K.! But you probably don’t want to do it on your best friend’s wedding day. Special occasions can present an opportunity for a haircut (at least a couple days in advance), or a hairdo (likely the day of). As long as your hair doesn’t appear visibly slept-on, greasy or otherwise unkempt, you’re doing fine.
Nails: Again, none of this is obligatory, and you should only do it if it makes you feel happy. Does getting your nails done make you feel happy? Yes? Then do it! If not … maybe just cut them and make sure they’re clean.
How to Take Care of Your Clothes
Whether you’re a total fashionista or you avoid the mall at all costs, you probably spend a lot more than you think on clothing. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American family spent $1,736 on clothes in 2012. Although kids outgrow their clothing fairly quickly, adults can hang onto theirs for years – as long as it doesn’t wear out.
Since longer-lasting clothing means more money in your pocket, be sure you do all you can to preserve your wardrobe. Of course, it may require changing a few habits. Luckily, you don’t need special products to keep your whites sparkling and your dark garments looking sharp.
Making Clothes Last
1. Start With Quality
While I don’t recommend buying overly expensive brand-name garments, it’s always a good idea to purchase quality clothing. By spending more on quality pieces that never go out of style, you create a solid base wardrobe with longevity in mind. You can then add in cheaper, trendier pieces for a season or two without feeling guilty. Those quality investment pieces last longer thanks to thicker fabrics and better construction.
It’s also a question of quantity versus quality. When purchasing kids’ clothes, you usually want to go for quantity, since the items are only going to fit for a few seasons. However, when purchasing professional clothes for yourself or a pair of jeans to wear daily, it’s better to invest in one quality item than five poorly made pieces that may need to be replaced in a few months.
Decide where to allot your clothing budget. Set some money aside for trendy, fun items, and reserve some cash for pieces that are bound to stand the test of time. Some of the clothes and items I don’t mind investing in include the following:
Two-piece business suit
Classic trench or pea coat
Comfortable, well-made shoes
Well-fitting jeans
A few crisp button-up shirts or blouses
When clothes shopping, look for clues that an item is made to last – and remember, price isn’t the only indicator. Instead, try to spot attention to detail, as well as tight seams and buttons. If the material is overly thin, or you see loose threads, buttons, or snags, those are clues that an item may not be very well made.
2. Pay Attention to Laundering
That tag found on the neck or down the side seam of your shirt is not for decoration: It gives you a garment’s laundering instructions, which are designed to ensure that it stays in great shape.
If you know you hate hand-washing and line-drying, avoid buying clothes that require special care. You’d be better off spending your money on sturdier items. In fact, looking at laundering instructions is part of my shopping process. Even if it’s a steal, a piece that requires dry cleaning could cost more in the long run – especially if you choose to ignore care instructions and end up ruining it.
Some other laundering tips can help keep your clothes in great shape. While you should always check the instructions on the tag, these are some general techniques to keep in mind as you hang out in the laundromat or laundry room.
Wash Dark Clothing Inside-Out. Dark-wash jeans, black blouses, and other darker material can become faded in the wash, particularly as it rubs up against other garments. Always launder your washer-safe dark clothes inside-out to ensure they hold their color.
Invest in a Clothesline or Drying Rack. If you don’t have a place to line-dry your clothes, they usually end up in the dryer – a death knell for line-dry-only garments. A clothesline only costs a few dollars and it can also help you save on energy costs. If you don’t have the yard or the climate to dry clothes outside, a drying rack for your laundry room is only about $20.
Wash Metal Separately. Buttons and zippers often find their way into the wash, but can become seriously hot in the dryer, which can lead to scorching and melting on your other clothes. Wash clothing with metal components separately and never with delicate clothes, such as silks or knits.
Go Color-Safe. Is there anything more frustrating than ruining clothes with bleach? While it helps make your whites whiter, it can also stain colored clothes and damage delicate fibers. Swap your regular bleach for a color-safe alternative, which is also gentler on fabric.
Wash Your Clothes Less. The washing process is famously tough on clothes. Agitating, tumbling, and coming in contact with other garments can leave garments faded, stretched, pilling, and damaged. Unless your outerwear is visibly dirty, you probably don’t need to wash it after each wearing. See if you can extend washing to every other wear, or even three wears, before you toss your garments in the laundry.
Get to Know Your Settings. While each make and model of washers and dryers is different, they all have something in common: They come with instruction manuals. Read up on your model so you know when to use “wrinkle release” as opposed to “delicate.” Delicate settings traditionally work well for lingerie, but they’re also effective for clothes that you want to preserve and treat gently. The delicate cycle uses less agitation, so there’s less wear and tear. This setting is perfect for lightly soiled stuff that requires a little extra care, or for items that specify the “delicate” setting on the tag.
3. Practice Good Hygiene
It may sound simple, but practicing good hygiene – such as showering daily, wearing deodorant, and using proper undergarments – can help keep your clothes cleaner and in better condition. Don’t forget that sweat also causes stains. By insisting that your family members treat their clothing with cleanliness and care, you should get some extra uses out of each piece.
It also pays to make sure you wear the right clothes for the right events. If you know things are going to get messy at a birthday party, don’t send your daughter wearing an expensive lace dress. Or, if you’re going out to a bar where people smoke, opt for your cheaper wardrobe items.
4. Learn Basic Repairs
Learning to complete basic repairs on your clothing – such as replacing a loose thread or a missing button – can make them last longer and save you a ton of money. Even if you’re perfectly careful with your garments, fallen hems and buttons that pop off can take shirts and pants out of commission. You can always bring your clothes to a tailor for a fee, but why spend the money if you can do the repair on your own?
A simple sewing kit – which you can find at many big box retailers – costs just a few dollars and contains scissors, a variety of needle sizes, and thread. Even if you’ve never sewed before, online videos can teach you everything you need to know, from buttonhole stitching to repairing a zipper. If you can tie a knot in the end of the thread and weave the needle in and out of the fabric, that’s enough to get started.
5. Iron With Care
When you iron, you’re using heat to loosen fabric fibers and press them flat. Unfortunately, there’s also a good chance you can end up burning or yellowing the fabric if you’re not doing it properly. Using too much heat on delicate fabrics can completely ruin them, so make sure you always use the right heat level for the type of fabric you’re ironing.
Many irons have different levels for various fabrics on the heat dial, but here’s a general guide:
Linen: 445° F
Cotton: 400° F
Viscose/Rayon: 375° F
Wool: 300° F
Acrylic: 275° F
Polyester: 300° F
Silk: 300° F
Acetate: 290° F
Lycra: 275° F
Nylon: 275° F
Another option is to invest in a steamer for about $25 to $50. It uses moisture and heat to release wrinkles while clothes are on the hanger, and it can be a lifesaver for the perpetually time-crunched. Because you don’t have to continually reposition your clothes like you do when ironing, steaming can save a lot of time. I love steamers for items that need to be deodorized and straightened, but don’t require clean creases.
6. Rotate Your Clothes
The idea of “last in, first out” doesn’t only apply to produce, but to clothes as well. We all have a favorite pair of jeans that are snatched out of the dryer as soon as they’re clean, but rotating your clothes means less wear and tear.
One way that I track my garments is by rotating them in my closet. After laundry day, the clean stuff goes to the back, while the items still in the closet are moved forward where they’re easier to see and grab. Eventually, my favorite items rotate from the back to the front of the closet, where they can be seen and worn again.
This can be especially helpful for kids’ clothes. Children are traditionally pretty hard on their gear, so rotating it can mean fewer holes in their jeans and less fading on their shirts. Unless, of course, your little one has a “favorite shirt” – in which case, you might just be out of luck.
7. Practice Good Storage Habits
Whether you have a walk-in closet or a couple of shelves, the way you store your clothes can make them last for years or, alternatively, leave them looking misshapen and damaged in just a few months. Here’s how to store your clothes to make sure they last as long as possible:
Fold Heavy Sweaters on a Shelf. While you might think that hanging is best for your expensive sweaters, heavier garments such as wool sweaters can actually stretch out when you hang them in your closet. Your best bet is to stack them folded on a shelf so they keep their shape – and save that precious hanger space.
Button Buttons and Zip Zippers. I can’t count the number of times a wayward zipper on one garment has snagged or scratched the fabric on another while hanging in my closet. Sharp zipper teeth, studs, and even buttons can catch on clothes and result in damage, so make sure they’re fastened when you hang them in your closet.
Invest in Better Hangers. Sure, you can score wire hangers from your dry cleaner for free, but they’re not made for long-term storage. Wire and plastic hangers can stretch out the shoulders of your garments, which means they won’t lay nicely on your body. Consider investing in better hangers with wood or plush arms, which help garments keep their shape.
Give Clothes Some Breathing Room. Even if you’re short on space, resist the urge to pack your closet full of clothes. Squishing a ton of items next to each other can result in wrinkling and fading as the fabrics are constantly mashed together. If you’re having to squish hangers and garments just to squeeze in another shirt, it may be time to look into other storage solutions. For example, a standalone armoire can help reduce some of the pressure on a bulging closet.
Think Cool and Dry. Excess moisture and heat can encourage mold growth – even on clothes. The mantra for your closet should be “cool and dry.” Never store clothes in a humid bathroom or moist basement closet.
8. Dye Faded Clothes
I have a pair of black skinny jeans that fit like a glove. Of course, after near-constant wash and wear, those black jeans are beginning to look gray and worn-out.
While looking for laundry soap at my local grocery store, I came across some easy-to-use clothing dye for just a few dollars. Simply add it to your sink or a bucket, add water, and follow the package directions for getting the best color. It usually takes 20 to 30 minutes of stirring to ensure even coloring. After the garment has been colored, rinse it with cool water and hang to dry.
Typically, garment dyes work best on solid colors, and can help to bring faded or stained clothes back to their former glory. A box of dye costs around $6 and contains two treatments. Just make sure that you wash your newly dyed item with like colors the first time you run it – the dye can come off on other items.
9. Dress After Your Hair and Makeup
Women’s clothing often takes more of a beating when compared to men’s. Why? Because women use cosmetics that can stain and fade garments. By doing your hair and makeup before you get dressed, you can avoid those pitfalls. Buy a robe to wear while you go through your daily routine to prevent things like lipstick and bronzer from getting on your garments.
Unfortunately, hair dye and hairspray can seriously damage clothes. Hairspray is a main culprit for fading, so resist the urge for a final spray before you head out the door. Also, if you dye your hair at home, make sure to wear old shirts while you’re doing it. Hair dyes are generally permanent and can easily ruin a favorite shirt. You can also wrap a thin towel around your shoulders to protect your clothes from your various cosmetics products if you don’t want to mess up your hair by putting on a shirt after it’s done.
Don’t forget about deodorant and antiperspirant. When you apply, make sure it’s completely dry before putting on a shirt. The aluminum contained in many antiperspirants can turn clothes yellow and cause brittleness.
10. Adjust Your Dryer
If you were to name the appliance in your home most damaging to clothes, it would definitely be the dryer. The heat can scorch clothes and cause shrinking, fading, and even pilling. However, it’s hard to argue with the convenience it offers – you use the appliance because it saves you time.
If you want the best of both worlds, check your dryer settings – many allow you to configure temperature, timing, and dryness. You can try lowering the overall temperature and keeping the same dry time, taking clothes out while they’re still damp. Or, if you don’t have temperature settings, you could just set the timer for 15 minutes fewer than normal, then transfer your clothes to dry on a laundry rack. Taking clothes out of the dryer before they’re done also minimizes shrinking in many fabrics such as denim – so your jeans might actually fit better.
Final Word
Unfortunately, not all clothing items are meant to last forever. They’re bound to wear out, fade, and change shape after repeated use. Still, by being a little more careful in the way you clean, handle, and store your clothes, you can get months and even years of extra wear out of each piece. When you multiply those results by the number of members in your family, it adds up to big savings.
How do you make sure your clothes last longer?
Sources: Nytimes , Moneycrashers